A sex list?
by The noble one
Summary: Just a little fun huddy one-shot. The rating is for language eventhough it isn't too bad. ;


Hello everyone! This little one-shot popped into my head while, well I don't know what I was doing but thinking about Huddy is always better. I got new ideas for it while talking to huddyfan13 on twitter (yes I used the line: best head I ever had!) The story takes place in season 7 and before or after my other fic _'_**_The tale of an annoyed Cuddles, cherry popsicles, an elevator & a smug House' _****but that doesn't really matter, Huddy is still Huddy so that's the most important thing. All mistakes are mine and I hope you'll all enjoy reading this little well banter xD R&R!**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. [H]ouse MD belongs to the creators, writers and producers and to be honest without LisaE I don't really want to own it.

**The return of the 17inch stick, sex lists, an evil Cuddy and aroused House**

' I can't believe you think I would do that.'

'What? Sex? Come on Cuddles it's not that difficult and you've done it before.'

'...'

'What? Why are you looking at me like that? Oh wait I called you Cuddles again, didn't I? My most sincere apologies.'

'Whatever like you mean that and for your information I wasn't talking about the sex part but about the where/when part. I'm perfectly aware how to have sex, thank you very much and I think that's one thing we both agree on.'

'Ouch, that hurts. We agree on several items. Like the fact that I'm your most brilliant/handsome doctor, steamy sex on a 17inch stick... should I continue?'

'Please no, I can only take a certain amount of bollocks, besides those things you just said aren't things we agree on but your delusional ideas.'

'Wow nice,telling an ex-phsychiatric patient he's having delusional ideas.'

'Oh please don't give me that. We both know that the only reason you mentioned Mayfield is in the hope I would feel guilty and have sex with you.'

'So did it work?'

'...'

'Hey, it was worth a try.'

'You know we're losing the point of the conversation, _again._'

'Mmm yes that does seem to become a habit. Perhaps it would be bettef if we put some distance between us while talking.'

'Yeah sure like that's going to stop Mister sex on a 17inch stick, which is a rather generous name even for you. Oh don't give me that look, I only meant that 17inch is a bit exaggerated. It's more like a 9 or 10inch from what I have experienced.'

'Hmph I never exaggerate..ouch woman you're not supposed to squeeze my stick so hard.'

'Oh but I thought you liked it rough?'

'I...uh..that's not the point. Now what were we talking about? If putting some distance between us would stop me? I'm insulted that you think that way but I would make you feel all hot and bothered so that when we get it on, it's gonna be some hot sex.'

'Ah yes leave it to Gregory House to make sure the sex becomes hot. Wait...wait you're saying it isn't now? Because then you're an amazing actor when you moan my name and say things like: "oh yes Lisa, you feel so good. So tight and hot." OMG House are you blushing and getting a hard on ?'

'Well what did you expect woman? You're sitting on my lap wearing a dress which gives me a lovely sight on Patty and Selma, moaning, writhing and touching my stuff _of course _I'm getting a hard on. The only thing that's stopping me from pushing you againt the nearest wall or throwing you onto the table is the fact that the whole hospital seems to be at this charity ball.'

'Mmm too bad, I was kinda excited about the whole ravishing me scenario.'

'Oh really? Kinda excited? From the way your pupils dilated and your breath sped up when I told you I would say you're more than kinda excited.'

'Fine fine, I'm horny as hell, now happy? Besides either you have a large banana in your pants or I would say you're excited as well.'

'So now that we establised that we're both horny what are you going to do about it?'

'Well we have several options. I would suggest...'

'Hey! What are you two talking about?'

'Oh you know Jimmy the usual. I was just telling Lisa that she's the best head I ever had.'

'HOUSE! Don't listen to him James he's just a bit cranky because we can't have sex on the table.'

'...okay, I'm leaving now. Talk to you guys later.'

'HA did you see the look on Jimmy's face when... What? Oh don't be mad I just gave you a compliment djeeeezes.'

'You told a fellow employer that your boss gives excellent blowjobs.'

'No I told my friend that my girlfriend know how to work her mouth. Ouch! Stop hitting me.'

'Stop saying stupid things and I will. Oh wait it's you so that means I'll have to hit you until one of us dies although I'm pretty sure I would come back as a ghost to taunt you.'

'You're an evil woman. Smokin hot and bossy but evil.'

'Oh please you like me when I get all bossy.'

'Mmm you know I do. So before our little interruption you said you had a suggestion for our not so little problem?'

'Ah yes, I think you'll like it.'

'Really? Please continue.'

'What do you say if we leave this charity thing and check off some things of your list.'

'Leave? I thought the Dean was supposed to stay until the end? Not that you would hear me complain if we left and what list are you talking about?'

'I, my dear Dr. House, am talking about your places-I-want-to-have-sex-with-Lisa-at-the-hospital-list you so cleverly hid in one of your magazines.'

'..you...you found it?'

'Uhu I did. You've named some pretty interesting places.'

'Uh..which place do you have in mind?'

'Oh well number 23 sounded very interesting.'

'23? Wait isn't that...?';

'Yes it is. That is if you think you're _up _for it?'

'Well I'm sure you can feel how _up _I am for it.'

'Mmm yes a very promising start. So what do you say mister? Are you _up _for a ride?'

'You know I am.'

'Let's go then we wouldn't want people to notice how _up _you are, mmm?'

'No indeed. I swear woman you'll be the dead of me.'

'Oh but what a way to go besides you know I'm the only one who can toy with your cane the way I do.'

'True; true lead the way mistress.'

'With pleasure.!

**The ****END **


End file.
